Deadweight
by KennyMccormickIsAHugeNerd
Summary: Clyde Donovan had not been the same since he found his sister hanging from her ceiling fan.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys, I am just gonna warn you. If you can't handle topics like suicide, self harm, blood, and depression. Then I would recommend not reading this story. Anyways, this does add a sister to Clyde's family. But yeah I hope you enjoy it.**

Waking up was the worst part of the day. Just laying there with my eyes closed. Knowing that the blaring of my alarm will be going off any moment now. I didn't sleep again last night, I have yet to comprehend why I even try anymore. _SCREECH _Ah, there it is. I open my eyes slowly. Not wanting to delay the process but not wanting to speed it up either. I bring my hand out from under the comforter to click off the screeching of my alarm clock. Sighing, I pull the blanket off of my once warm body. I think everyone is waiting for me to break just like my sister. These thoughts often come through my mind when I get up. I know they think it, the way they act like I'm some kind of mental patient.

But, I am not a mental patient. I am strong. I am fine. Just keep these words in your head Clyde, you will be fine. I could hear there whispers seeping into the cracks of my mind. Bringing me down to my knees again as I try to hold back the sobs. I am strong. I am fine. I am strong. I am fine. I am strong. I am fine.

"Poor boy, he was one that found his sister you know." "I know, I know that's all the town has been talking about." "I wonder if he'll end up just like her." "I wouldn't be surprised, after all that family fell apart after his mothers death." "Not to long, until the father offs himself too." I grip at my dull brown hair trying to get the voices to go away. I am strong. I am fine.

"Face it Clyde, you're weak. You're falling apart. You fall apart under any sort of pressure. Even the medicine stopped working. You're not worth the effort. Just let go already. You'd be happier up there any way. No one really cares about you. You're worthless Clyde, worthless." The salty tear sting my eyes. Burning as they slide down my cheeks.

"I am strong. I am fine." I whisper to my self as I get up off the floor, ignoring how the voices scream at me to go back. "Hey Clyde." Looking up I realize I have no idea where I am.

"Clyde?" The school. I was at school. "Clyde, buddy are you with me?" I was dressed, I had done everything I needed to do. But, I didn't remember a single second of it other than falling on the floor because of them.

"Craig?" I look up at the six foot teenager in front of me. "Do you not remember how you got here again?" Yes, would be the simple answer. But, he can see right through everything I do now a days. No, would be the simpler answer. But, I don't know if I don't remember. "I don't know." I could see him nodding at me but I couldn't understand if he was saying yes, no, or I understand. His ice blue eyes stare down into my completely ordinary, dull, brown eyes. "Have you taken your medicine." Craig, I think you should know that the medicine isn't working anymore. So I have decided to stop taking it because what difference does it make? "Yes." Why do I continue to lie to you? "Do you want to go get breakfast with the guys?" No, even if I eat I know I'll just puke it back up later. Also, I don't like the way Token and Kenny look at me. "Sure." He nods at me again. Why do you nod so much Craig? I don't feel him dragging me along until I trip. "Sorry Craig." He looks at me with a worried look in his eyes. "Why didn't you take your medicine this morning?" "But I did." "Clyde you just told me a couple of minutes ago that you didn't remember anything from this morning. How can you possibly remember taking your medicine?" Shrugging seems like the appropriate answer to that question. So, I shrug. Craig holds onto my shoulders. "You need to promise to me right now that you aren't going to lie to me anymore." I wish I could promise you that Craig. But how can I promise that I won't lie to you when I can't even stop lying to myself. "I'll try." Again with the nodding Craig. "I don't want you to try Clyde. I care about you, you know that right?" Yes Craig I know that, even when you look at me like I'm going to break if you touch me. Even when you keep stuff from me because you think I can't handle it. "I know."

He smiled at me. Smiling. I watched him as he grabbed my arm pulling me into the cafeteria. "Looks like Godzilla and The Crybaby finally showed up."

Kenny spoke up obviously proud of the nicknames he made up for us.

Tweek looked up at Craig with a shaky smile on his face. Hope I despised that cute shaky smile he gave Craig every morning. I wanted to be the one that was jittery and messed up but everyone found cute. I was just that weird kid that no one wanted to be seen hanging out with anymore. I clung closer to Craigs arm as we neared the table. Please don't make me move Craig. "Why don't you sit beside Kenny and Token" Craig said as he pushed me toward them. You can't make my relationship with my friends better any more Craig. I smiled trying to act like everything was okay even though they knew for a fact that it wasn't.

Token refused to look at me. "Hi Token." He sighed as he turned to look at me smiling. "Hi Clyde." The venom in his voice stung more than seeing her hanging body every would. "Why?" He stared back at me with his chocolate brown eyes. "What?" I must have let myself ask him the question that had been plaguing me for the past few years. "Why do you treat me like you do?" He decided answering my question wasn't good enough, so he left. Grabbing his new backpack and rushing out of the cafeteria. Feeling the stares of my friends I turned to look at them. Tweek, oh Tweek the amount of pity he held in his eyes made me want to cry. I don't need pity. I don't need anyone. I was completely fine by myself. I don't need Tweek. I don't need Token. I don't need Kenny. I don't need Craig. "Why?" Was the last word I had uttered to them before getting up and leaving them stunned.

"Clyde!" I didn't stop like I normally would have. I don't need you Craig. No matter how much I want you. No matter how much I say or think I need you I don't. Lying to myself about my feelings for the six foot, angry teenager would have been a blessing. But, I didn't want to lie to myself about everything. They kept secrets from me. Well, I'll keep secrets from them. Who needs friends. It's not like they care. They've never cared. They just didn't want to seem like the assholes that would leave their broken friend behind. Unlike everyone else, who had been encouraging them to leave me behind. I was deadweight. I've always been deadweight.

I practically throw myself into the senior bathroom. Trying to hide away before Craig found me and forced me to tell him my problems. You can't understand Craig. You can't. Your life is perfect. Your family gets along. You have a perfect girlfriend. You have perfect friends who want to be around you. Why bother with me. "You could do it now you know. Kill your self. Just imagine your pretty crimson blood spilled across the plain white tiles. It would take them weeks to get all your blood off the floor. Even then, everyone would still be able to see the faintest outline. Just the fainest outline of were your life drained out of you." But, I don't have anything to do it with. "Check your backpack." I opened the backpack I didn't realize I had. It was empty except for a single knife. I pulled it out of the old backpack. I flipped it open, the pretty silver blade shinned in the dull light of the bathroom.

"Go on do it. You've got nothing left to lose. You're nothing but deadweight Clyde Donovan. Why not end it here." I rolled up the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt. The smooth pale skin of my wrist was taunting. "Do it." Pressing the pretty silver blade into the skin of my wrist. Pulling it back toward me, watching as the deep cut slipped blood down my arm and onto the floor. I collapsed onto my knees. Dieing doesn't seem so bad. I took the blade in my shaky hand. Placing the bloody bade on my clean wrist. Pulling it down toward me. I smiled as I laid down on the cool tile floor. My blood spilling out onto the floor.

"Clyde!" The door opened suddenly. "Clyde oh my god!" I couldn't move to look up at whoever had found me. I hoped it wasn't Craig. I loved him to much to want him to see me like this. "Hello 911? Yes I need a ambulance right away at South Park High School. No I need it right away. My best friend is bleeding out on the floor of a god damn bathroom I am not letting him die!" I felt who ever it was pick me up from the ground. The world around me hazy and distorted. "Go to sleep Clyde, end it. You're deadweight." My eyes started to flutter close. "NO GODDAMMIT CLYDE DON'T YOU GIVE UP ON ME! HELP ME SOMEONE HELP ME!"

The world was going black. All I could hear was the clatter of voices. My head moved, allowing me to look up at whoever was carrying me. "Craig?" His voice sounded like a radio losing service. The last thing I saw was white.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Caroline's Mix Tape - Track 1 - Wonderwall by Oasis **_

_Clyde" I heard a voice call to me. I reached my chubby hands toward the face in front of me. "Who's my special boy?" My mother rubbed her nose against mine. "It's you Clyde, You're my special little man." _

"_Clyde!" Hearing my mother I got up from my current spot on the floor. My chubby legs ran into the kitchen. "Yes, mommy?" She turned to me smiling. "Don't let your father see you with this." She whispered to me as she handed me a cookie. Giggling, I munched down on the cookie. "Thank you mommy." I said with my mouth full. She giggled, running a napkin over my face getting rid of the crumbs. "Okay my little man, you can go back to playing." _

"_Clyde, why don't you come say hi." I peaked around my mothers leg at a boy much taller than him. "This Mrs. Tucker and her son Craig." Clyde waved at the boy. His inky black hair was brushed down, though it was getting messier by the second. "I-I'm Clyde." _

"_Come meet your sister Clyde." I walked over hesitantly, scared of waking the just born baby. Her large brown eyes opened as I stood beside her. She was smiling at me. I was only three, I didn't realize at all what was happening. Yet I found myself crying as she reached up to me. "I'll always be there for you Caroline." I said letting her grab onto my thumb. _

"_Clyde!" Running was hard to do without tripping, but I made it over to her. Shielding her from the bullies just as they reached her. I wasn't tall compared to my best friend, Craig. But, hell, I was way taller than these sixth graders seeing as I was an eighth grader. "Leave. Her. Alone." They cowered as I raised my fist about to hit them. Just as my fist almost made contact with the leaders face, they raced off. I turned to look at my little sister. "Caroline are you okay?" Looking up at me she smiled and nodded. "Just remember I'll always be there for you Caroline." _

"_Caroline?" I yelled for her, it was only us in the house tonight. "Caroline?" I turned the TV off, listening for her. Being an eighth grader I expected to hear her loud music. But the house was dead silent. "Caroline!" I ran up the stair two at a time. Walking quietly to her room at the end of the hallway. Knocking on the lavender painted door. "Caroline?" I asked quietly desperately hoping for some kind of response. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The room seemed normal, then my eyes were fixed on a certain brown haired girl hanging from the ceiling fan. I wanted to scream. But nothing came out except for sobs. I fell to my knees. "Caroline." Was the only word that escaped my lips. Laying on the floor by the knocked over chair was a note and a crudely wrapped present. Picking up the small note, I felt sobs rake through my body. My name was sprawled across the front in her cute handwriting that was twenty times neater than my chicken scratch. I opened the letter hesitantly._

"_Clyde, _

_I'm sorry._

_Always your little sister,_

_Caroline."_

_The purple ink was smearing as my tears fell onto the clean paper. "I couldn't protect you." The package's newspaper wrapping started coming apart at the seams. Revealing a small cassette tape with the words "Carolines Mix Tape" written on the top. "I couldn't protect you." Finally the neighbors heard my screams and sobs. Coming over to find me curled up screaming at her feet. "Poor boy."_

"Clyde?" I called out to him. Hoping to god he would wake up. But not, he just laid there with his bandaged up wrists. His face was pale and lifeless. I could still remember everyone's faces when they saw me run out of the bathroom with Clyde. They didn't look surprised or sad even. Just normal. Like they had been expecting this to happen. "Why Clyde?" Hearing soft footsteps I looked up.

Tweek stood there, tear tracks clear as day on his cheeks. "I-Is he gonna be o-o-okay?" He asked me, hiccuping halfway through his sentence. "They don't know." Token appeared from behind Tweek and looked at me.

"Why are you here Token?" "Because he's my friend." "That's not what he thinks." Token glared at me. "Look Craig, I'm sorry and I know that isn't going to make any of this any better. But, I couldn't see Clyde be so sad and hurt. I just couldn't stand by and watch as he wasted away, while you just stood there and tried talking it out with him." I stood up from my spot beside Clyde's hospital bed. "You act like you were helping by ignoring him." "I was helping him. Everyday after school I was off researching trying to find anyway that could make him better and not be so miserable. He was my best friend Craig, I only wanted him to get better but there was no way that I found. I gave up Craig. I tried to save my best friends life, but I couldn't and I came to realize that I was a failure. No matter how much money I have. No matter how good my grades are. I will never be goof enough to save Clyde!" He was screaming at me, tears streaming down his face. Tweek just sat there, his head in his hands as he sobbed quietly. I sat beside the jittery boy.

"It's gonna be okay Tweek." "You don't know that." He whispered to me as he buried his face into the soft white comforter on Clyde's bed. "You don't know anything Craig." I took my hands off the small boys back and finally let the tears that had been threatening to fall, fall. "You're right." I whispered as I held onto Clyde's hand. "Please wake up Clyde. Please." I begged him. I looked up to find Token gone, the only thing in his place was a drawing Clyde and Token had done of each other back in the fourth grade.

Tweek stood up and hugged himself trying to stop his quiet sobs. "I'm gonna go down to the cafeteria you want anything?" He asked me, knowing I had been here since Clyde was checked in. I shook my head and watched as Tweek disappeared down the hall.

I put my hand into my jacket pocket and sighed. "Clyde, you stupid idiot. We love you, you know?" I asked him as I stood up. Looking down at his backpack, I saw a glint. I stopped in my tracks, scared it was the knife. As I reached into his backpack, what I felt wasn't cold metal. It was glass or plastic. I pulled it out and stared at it questionably.

"A Walkman? Dude how old is thing?" I asked my self turning the fragile thing over in my hands. Seeing a name written on it purple sharpie I turned the device to look at it. "_Caroline Donovan_" was written on the side. A tape popped out as I pressed a few buttons curiously. "_Carolines Mix Tape_" was written on the tape, but the purple writing was fading from age. "Just couldn't let her go, huh, Clyde?" I asked him as I slipped on his Batman headphones. Pushing the tape back in, I pressed what I assumed was the play button. Suddenly music poured into my ears.

Hearing the music somehow made everything seem better. Suddenly I felt my self singing along to the music quietly.

" Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now

Back beat, the word is on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
But I don't know how

Because maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding  
And all the lights that light the way are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
But I don't know how

I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Carolines Mix Tape – Track 2 – Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day**_

"Sir, I know that Mr. Donovan is your friend. But, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Visiting hours are over."

My head shot up as the nurse spoke softly to me. She was looking at me curiously as I slowly got out of bed. "Okay. Thank you for waking me up." Smiling, she lead me out of the room. "It's no problem." I grabbed the Walkman out of my pocket and traced the edges as I walked out into the brisk night air of Colorado.

My phone illuminated a small portion of the blackness around me. I dialed my dads phone number, pressing the phone to me ear.

"Craig? Where the fuck are you?" I sighed, realizing they didn't know about Clyde. "I'm at the hospital." Suddenly the voice changed from angry to concerned. "Craig, why are you at the hospital? Are you okay?" "Yeah dad I'm fine, but." He let out a happy sigh from what I heard. "But what Craig?"

"It's Clyde."

_I watched as Craig talked to his father. "It's Clyde." "Craig? I'm fine I'm right here." I said to him, reaching for his jacket sleeve. My ghostly pale hand just went right through it. Bringing my hand back, I stared at it. "Oh." Seemed the only words that would come out. Suddenly Craig was getting into his fathers dusty red truck. "Craig! Wait!" But he drove off not hearing me. I tried to run after them, but I felt someone pulling me back. _

_"__It's no use." A feminine voice said to me. Turning, I was met with a small girl. Her short curly red hair was almost see through, along with her pale skin. "They can't see you and you can't leave the hospital." Her large gray eyes stared straight into my brown ones. "Y-You can see me?" She rolled her eyes. "Of course I can see you, Clyde." She lead me back into the hospital, where a couple of other ghost like people stood. They were mostly girls, but there stood a guy behind them. _

_"__Welcome to Purgatory Clyde." They spoke in unison to me. "How do you know my name?" I asked them. The girl holding my arm smiled at me. "You use to know most of us." Suddenly I remembered her face. She was always standing beside Kenny. This was the girl Kenny wouldn't forgive himself over. "Eva?" She nodded. "Hi Clyde." "But, you're dead." She crossed her arms over her chest. "On the contrary, I'm in a coma. After the car accident that left Kenny virtually unharmed, I fell into a coma." She explained to me. Now I understand why Kenny didn't talk as much. He thought her falling into a coma was his fault._

_"__Wait, does that mean you're all coma patients?" Eva smiled widely. "Now you're getting it." I looked around at the other six people surrounding me. I saw Lizzie, Alex, Jacob, Kristina, and Destiny. They smiled at me. After a couple moments of awkward silence most of them started to drift off. Eva looked at me curiously with Lizzie and Alex standing behind her. Lizzie's once dark hair looked pale brown at the most. Alex at one point before she was put into a coma had burgundy hair. But not it was just a lite shade of red. _

_"__Clyde?" Eva spoke to me, holding up my wrists. "Their starting to heal." She said softly. I stared down at my wrists. The deep, jagged cuts clear as day on my ghostly pale wrists. "It's nothing to feel bad about Clyde. We all have our scares." She told me as she turned walking back to her room. I studied her back and felt my frown deepen. On her back was a massive scar starting at the end of her hairline going all the way down to the small of her back. I could remember the day Kenny found out, Eva might not ever wake up. The screams and cries that sounded from him didn't sound human. _

_Lizzie looked at me and lifted up her shirt slightly. Showing three gunshot wounds. "I might as well explain some things to you." She said softly, hiding behind her hair. "The first thing is that you can't leave the hospital, unless your body is removed from the hospital." She kept rubbing her side where she had been shot. "The second is that this is purgatory. If you die, you'll leave. If you wake up, you'll leave. That is really all there is. You can't change clothes though. You are forever stuck in the clothes you, well how do I put it, died basically." _

_I nodded and turned to go sit in my room. "And Clyde." She called to me. Turning I looked at her. "Everyone has their scares. You know that but someone you use to know told me to tell you this." I looked at her with curiosity. Who would want me to know anything after they had left. Suddenly, Lizzie was replaced with a flickering version of Caroline._

_"__It's not your fault." _

_Then suddenly her flickering shape was gone. Lizzie smiled slightly at me then walked off. The hospital was silent, Lizzie's footsteps made no noise. As I sat in my room, I suddenly heard music. Along with Craigs soft voice._

"Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass  
seven years has gone so fast  
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again  
falling from the stars  
drenched in my pain again  
becoming who we are

as my memory rests  
but never forgets what I lost  
wake me up when September ends

summer has come and passed  
the innocent can never last  
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again  
like we did when spring began  
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again  
falling from the stars  
drenched in my pain again  
becoming who we are

as my memory rests  
but never forgets what I lost  
wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass  
twenty years has gone so fast  
wake me up when September ends  
wake me up when September ends  
wake me up when September ends"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Caroline's Mix Tape – Track 3 – I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life by Green Day**_

The minute I got to school, I was met with a pray circle. "Dear God, please give Clyde Donovan the strength to overco-." They stopped and turned to look at me as they heard my thundering footsteps. Their silence was deafening. I could feel their stares of sorrow and pity on the back of my head. "Craig?"

I turned to see Phoebe. 'Phoebe?' I wanted to ask but no words made it out of my throat. 'I haven't seen her in forever.' Her overly curly hair was pulled into a ponytail. "Kenny is looking for you." She whispered and ran off with me following her. Her and Kenny never left each others side anymore. Not after Eva. I quickly shook the thoughts of Eva out of my head. But once those thoughts subsided. The thoughts of Clyde hit me like a boulder. His pale face against the blue hospital pillow sheet. The deep jagged cuts on his frail wrists. His neatly brushed and parted hair. His mom probably did that when she went to go see him.

"Clyde." I whispered as I felt someone grab my wrist. "Craig dude?" I looked up from my combat boots to look at Kenny. "Where are we?" Kenny ran his fingers though his dirty blonde hair. "The old band room." Looking around at the old room I smiled. The concrete walls with old posters, drawings, and pictures. "I haven't been in here since freshman year." I say as I make my way to the walls. Tracing the creases between the concrete bricks. I slowly make my way up the carpeted concrete bleachers. I come to the back corner, where our small group has sat back in freshman year for study hall; the cluster of pictures they had taken, notes they had passed, concert tickets, movie tickets, and dead sharpies that were taped to the wall was a little frightening.

**"****My name is Kenny McCormick and I'm the biggest idiot ever." "Wow thanks Eva, your so nice to your boyfriend." " *you're." "TACO BELL ROCKS." "Thanks for that information Clyde." "No problem Lizzie." **I traced Clyde's sloppy handwriting as I knelled in front of the scribbled words. The amount of conversations that littered the bare wall around the photos, notes, and tickets made me feel so nostalgic for the past. I just want to go back to being so excited for Eva and Kenny getting their permits together. Then maybe they could drive us to Asses of Fire 3.

I wanted to go back to the first day of study hall. Were me, Clyde, Kenny, Tweek, and Token were so scared of the upperclassmen that we ran into the first room we saw; which just happened to be the band room, where me met Eva, Lizzie, Alex, Destiny, Kristina, and Jacob. From that day on, us 11 became inseparable.

Until everything went to hell. Eva and Kenny got into a car crash, Eva hardly making it out alive; Kenny hardly ever talking after that day. Lizzie getting shot, Jacob getting his by that car, Alex and Destiny in the house fire, and Tina's mental break down. Now Clyde. We were never suppose to end like this. Weren't suppose to be picked off one by one.

"Craig." Kenny was calling out to me. But I couldn't stop looking at the picture of Eva and Kenny. Their smiling faces as they sat together in this very room. Kenny playing their song as they both sang along. "Craig!" I felt like I just woke up. The tears that were streaming down my face were all to noticeable.

"Why did this have to happen to us? Why not someone else? It's not fair, we're just kids. We aren't suppose to be dieing, or falling into coma's, or trying to kill ourselves. They should all still be awake right now. The SHIT that happened to them shouldn't have happened. That fucking asshole that shot Lizzie shouldn't still be out there. He should be in jail. The guy that hit Jacob shouldn't be out there. He should be in fucking jail too. WHY US? WHY NOT SOMEONE ELSE. WHY DOES EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT LEAVE OR DIE. I JUST WANT FRESHMAN YEAR BACK GOD DAMMIT!"

I can hear my self screaming, but my mouth just keeps moving. "I just want freshman year back." I say, my voice hoarse and hardly above a whisper. Kenny just stood there, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. "I just want freshman year back." He sobs. "I want to go back. I want to stop her from getting in the car. I want to save her." Phoebe sat beside him. Her face in her hands as she tears poured from her blue eyes. I watched them quietly. I just wanted to go back. I just wanted to save them.

"I'm gonna go see them." I state as I stand up and rush out of the school Kenny hot on my heels. Phoebe never left early from school anymore like she use to. The drive to the hospital was silent and seemed to be over in seconds. Kenny sprinted past me. "Eva."

He whispered as he got to her room. I peaked in to see him sitting beside her bed. The acoustic guitar he had left in her room all those months ago was finally being played again.

"Been up all night  
Staring at you  
Wondering what's on your mind  
I've been this way  
With so many before  
But this feels like the first time  
You want the sunrise  
To go back to bed  
I want to make you laugh  
Mess up my bed with me  
Kick off the covers  
I'm waiting  
Every word you say I think  
I should write down  
I don't want to forget  
Come daylight  
Happy to lay here  
Just happy to be here  
I'm happy to know you  
Play me a song  
Your newest one  
Please leave your taste on my tongue  
Paperweight on my back  
Cover me like a blanket  
Mess up my bed with me  
Kick off the covers  
I'm waiting  
Every word you say I think  
I should write down  
I don't to forget  
Come daylight  
And no need to worry  
That's wastin time  
And no need to wonder  
What's been on my mind  
It's you  
It's you  
Every word you say I think  
I should write down  
Don't want to forget  
Come daylight  
And I give up  
I let you win  
You win 'cause I'm not counting  
You made it back  
To sleep again  
Wonder what you're dreaming."

He sang to her. "Oh god Eva. I'm so sorry." He whispered. I walked away and into Clyde's room. His face paler then before. I laid my head next to his. The batman headphones already on, I pressed play on the Walkman. Singing quietly to him.

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life."

My singing voice was hoarse and choked with sobs. "Clyde. Clyde please wake up."

"I need you."

"_I need you too Craig." _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Caroline's Mix Tape – Track 4 – You Found Me by The Fray**_

"_I need you too Craig."_. I heard the faintest voice call out to me. It sounded just like Clyde's voice. "Clyde?" I called out to the empty room. "No, it was nothing."

"Token?" I heard a name call out to me. I looked down at the new watch my parents had gotten me. I was to scared to turn around. "Token dude?" I felt them grab my shoulder and turn me to look at them. 'Oh, it's just Kyle.'

I thought to myself. His face was resting in a cocky smirk. "Guess what I have in calculus." 'I don't have time for this little shit fit he has every time he thinks he gets a better grade then me.' Forcefully I put a smile on my face. "What grade do you have in calculus?" He scoffed. "As if you don't know. Ms. Page has been talking about it nonstop. Well, if you didn't already know, I have a 98.6 in calculus." I could feel my face quickly turn into a scowl as he basked in the glow that he thought was a good grade.

"I don't have time for this Broflovski." I say, my voice filled with venom. Turning on my heel I try to walk to class. "Stop being a pussy just because I got a better grade then you." He called out to me. Stopping me dead in my tracks. I drop everything on the cold tile floor of the hallway.

"You know what Kyle. I'm not being a pussy because you got a better grade then me. I have a 100 in that class. I'm not pissed off because of a grade. I'm pissed off because you think you always have to one up me. You think that telling me you have a better grade then me is gonna ruin my life? Guess what, my life is already ruined. It was ruined long before your sorry ass showed up. My best FUCKING friend is in the hospital and they don't know if he is gonna wake up. And you think I care about what you have to say? I don't you fucking prick. Go back to shoving your dick up Stan's ass. You feel so inadequate because your mommy never loved you. Guess what Kyle. I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU. BEING BETTER THAN ME ISN'T GOING TO FILL THE VOID IN YOUR HEART. YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE EMPTY ON THE INSIDE. STOP TRYING TO PIN THAT ON ME. I'M NOT THE REASON YOUR LIFE IS MISERABLE. YOU ARE. YOU FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT."

A large crowd was formed around us. The tears streaming down Kyle's face only fueled my anger. Finally, I raised my fist. Swinging it directly into Kyle's face. The satisfying crunch as my fist came into contact with Kyle's large, ugly nose.

"Token!" Hearing Wendy's voice didn't calm me down. I just continued to punch until my knuckles were bloody. Whose blood it was I didn't know. All I knew was that punching Kyle Broflovski in the face was the best thing I'd done all week. Standing up, I leave Kyle's unconscious bloody body on the floor.

"Fuck this." I say as I flip off the school. "Fuck you." Turning to Wendy, Stan, Eric, and Kyle, flipping them off as well. "Fuck it, I'm done." Grabbing my messenger bag from off the ground, I make my way out of the school. "Token Black please come to the principle's office this instant!" I hear Mrs. Ridder say over the intercom. "FUCK NO!"

I scream as I drive away. Driving at top speed in the messy car feel good. I roll the windows down as blast Clyde's favorite song. Singing along loudly as I look for the familiar dirt road.

"Just wanna do something special  
For all the ladies in the world

Just wanna do something special  
For all the ladies in the world  
(Is this possible?)  
And the girls, don't forget them girls

Caribbean ladies  
Parisian ladies  
Bolivian ladies  
Namibian ladies

Eastern Indochinian ladies  
Republic of Dominican ladies  
Amphibian ladies  
Presbyterian ladies

Outta sights, amazing ladies  
Late night, hard working ladies  
Erudite, brainy ladies  
Hermaphrodite, lady-man-ladies

Oh, you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies  
With your sexy lady bits  
And your sexy man bits too  
Even you must be into you

All the ladies in the world  
I wanna get next to you  
Show you some gratitude  
By making love to you, it's the least we can do

If every soldier in the world  
Put down his weapon and picked up a woman  
What a peaceful world this world would be  
Redheads not warheads, blonde's not bombs  
We're talking about brunettes not fighter jets

Oh, it's got to be sweet 16's not M-16's  
When will the government realize  
It's got to be funky sexy ladies?

I have a vision and all I can see  
Is all of you with a all of me  
In a world of peace and harmony  
Where every lady gets a little piece of Bret-Y

I've been to Paris, Wellington and Amsterdam  
And a wham-bam, Merci, Danke, thank 'a you ma'm  
I don't care if you're ugly or you're skanky, or you're small  
Just wanna do a little something special for you all

Just wanna do something special  
For all the ladies in the world  
All the old ladies, all the clean ladies

Just wanna do something special  
For all the ladies in the world  
(All the crazy ladies)  
And the girls, don't forget them girls  
(All the lazy ladies)

Ladies, ladies, ladies"

Turning down the dusty dirt road I smile widely. The road down to the lake is still there. I drive down the steep cliff to get down to the hidden lake. "Lake Clyde." Was written sloppily on a homemade sign that was somehow still nailed to the large oak tree. The time we spent here during sophomore and junior year was magical.

Clyde and Kenny had found this lake after they drove off the road. Kenny's first car was still stuck in the middle of the lake. Kenny and Eva use to swim out to the car and climb on the exposed top of it. Sitting there, they felt away from everything. I had never taken anyone here. Wendy use to ask me to take me here. I always said no.

This was our groups secret. No one came here unless you were in the group. Pulling the car under the oak tree, I climbed out. The scent of the salty water hit me as soon as I stepped out of the car. I turn up the radio and let the CD Clyde made belt out of the car.

The clear blue water lapped around the lawn chairs we left here. The cooler still sat in the middle of the lawn chair circle we made. I smiled as I sat in my usual spot, just letting the memories take me.

**Kenny smiled as he picked up his guitar. "Lets all gather around the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!" Belting out the lyrics to the silly Sponge Bob song. "You just said song twice dip shit."**

**Eva added as she plopped down into the chair next to him. Kenny rolled his eyes. Soon everyone sat in the circle. The bonfire in the middle, lit up their faces brightly. "So, 11 some anyone?" Kenny asked with a smirk on his features. **

**Jacob recoiled. "More like 10 some. I don't Kenny's dick anywhere near me." Kenny looked appalled at Jacob. "I see how it is." Jacob winked. "Beside me and Kenny's sexy time is only between us two." "Well NOW they know." **

**Lizzie rolled her eyes as she grabbed a bag of marshmallows from her book bag. "Always prepared Lizzie?" Kristina asked as she grabbed a handful of marshmallows. "Damn straight." Clyde rolled his bright red cooler into the circle.**

**"****Well while you nerds are eating marshmallows. I'll be getting drunk." Eva stood up and grabbed two beers. "Fuck this, lets get drunk." Kenny kissed her softly as she handed him a beer. "I can already taste the drunk sex we're gonna be having later." Eva punched his arm lightly. Craig pulled out his guitar and looked at Kenny.**

**"****You wanna play a song ass face?" Craig asked Kenny. "Hell yeah." He answered loudly. Token sat beside Destiny and Alex. "Hey Eva!" Eva turned to look at Destiny and Alex. Only to be hit in the face with marshmallows. "Boo you whore!" She called out to them. They laughed as Kenny and Craig started playing the first couple of chords the newest song Kenny had written.**

"**Comic books and faded jeans.**

**Mixed up tapes and stupid dreams.**

**When we wake up, it will no longer be light.**

**I want to see the moon with you my dear.**

**I want to hold you my dear.**

**Library books and skinny jeans.**

**Records and your silly face.**

**When I'm with you dear I don't need the sun.**

**For you are my light, **

**My life,**

**My love.**

**Dusty books and denim shorts.**

**Old I pods and sketch books.**

**Oh my dear, you'll never know how much I love you.**

**Because I have yet to say your lovely name.**

**Oh my dear, Eva.**

**Oh my dear, Eva."**

**Eva blushed bright red as she hugged Kenny. **

"**I love you too. You big idiot." Clyde snickered as Jacob grabbed Kenny's guitar.**

**"****ASS TITTIES ASS AND TITTIES." Eva looked up at Jacob and punched him in the arm. "Mood killer." She said as she climbed into Kenny's lap. "Oh I don't know Eva. This is a pretty nice mood. I can almost see the ass and titties."**

**Clyde looked up at the dark sky. "Sky looks pretty." He said. He reached his hand up. "Like you can almost touch it." Soon enough they were all laying down on the cool ground. The grass tickling their exposed skin. "I counted 240 stars." Eva whispered to Clyde. "Well I counted 420." Kenny said was a grin on his face. Eva chuckled as she cuddled into his side. **

**Lizzie grabbed Clyde's hand as she counted. "My grandmother use to say that stars are holes in the sky, that show us the heavens. She said that if you don't have someone hold onto you, you could drift away into the stars. So hold fast to the grass and the one you love Elizabeth." Clyde gripped her hand. "I won't let you drift away Lizzie."**

**Craig watched them and frowned as Tweek counted the stars with him. "I have a paper due tomorrow." Eva said. "I have so much homework to do that Kyle probably jacked off to it." Token said. Eva snorted as she laughed. "Oh my gosh Token. That's hilarious." Kenny shrugged. "It's actually kinda true. One of the many reasons I stopped hanging out with them. Kyle was a huge douche bag once we got to high school. Or he always was, I just didn't have any other friends." **

**Craig sat up and looked at Token. "So when are you gonna punch him so hard you break his nose?" Craig asked with a smirk on his face. Token shrugged. "It'll happen one day, but not for a little while." **

I raised up my beer. "To finally punching Kyle Broflovski in the face so hard that I broke his nose. I finally did it." I took a sip and raised my beer again.

"To Eva, Lizzie, Tina, Alex, Destiny, and Jacob." I took a large gulp and raised my beer for the last time.

"To Clyde fucking Donovan. My best friend. You reckless asshole. My car is still littered in Taco Bell wrappers from you." Finishing the beer, I threw the glass bottle into the beat up trashcan we had dragged down here.

"To my best friends. The only ones I'll ever have and the only one's I'll ever want."

I walked around the coma ward of the hospital. My inky black hair getting in my eyes. I had visited all of them. They looked so peaceful and out of place. Finally I made my way back to Clyde's room.

"I wonder if I got a Ouija board if you could use it." I asked him. "You'd probably tell me to go down to the lake and have a beer for you." I said with my head in my hands. Suddenly shot up. "Clyde Lake!" I practically screamed as I ran to my beat up pick up truck. As I made my way down the dirt road I heard the blasting of Clyde's favorite song. "Who the fuck found our lake?"

I asked my self as I rounded the corner around the cliff. I saw Token sitting on the grass drinking the last of our beer. I parked next to him and pulled out the Walkman. "Hey dude." Token turned to look at me and smiled holding up his knuckles. "I punched Kyle in the face so hard that I broke his nose." I laughed as I grabbed a beer. Downing it in a couple of gulps.

"How long have you been out here?" I asked, my answer was only a shrug. "Since I beat up Kyle and drove off school campus ignoring the principle's request to go to her office." I nodded. "Your parents are gonna blame this on my terrible behavior." Token shrugged. "Then I'll tell them that this was my doing and you weren't even around me all day."

We both laid back and replaced Clyde's batman headphones for his joker ear buds. "Wanna listen?" I asked Token. "Why the hell not." He replied.

"I found God  
On the corner of First and Amistad  
Where the west  
Was all but won  
All alone  
Smoking his last cigarette  
I said, "Where you been?"  
He said, "Ask anything".

Where were you  
When everything was falling apart?  
All my days  
Were spent by the telephone  
That never rang  
And all I needed was a call  
That never came  
To the corner of First and Amistad

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lyin' on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me

In the end  
Everyone ends up alone  
Losing her  
The only one who's ever known  
Who I am  
Who I'm not, who I wanna be  
No way to know  
How long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lyin' on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me

Early morning  
The city breaks  
I've been callin'  
For years and years and years and years  
And you never left me no messages  
Ya never send me no letters  
You got some kinda nerve  
Taking all I want

Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lyin' on the floor  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lyin' on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me  
Why'd you have to wait?  
To find me, to find me."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Caroline's Mix Tape – Track 5 – Jimmy Eat World by The Middle**_

_***Hi guys just to clear up the time line. They all meet in Freshmen year, Kenny and Eva get their permits that year, and Kenny drifts away from Stan, Kyle, and Cartmen. Sophomore year Kenny get's his license, Kenny and Clyde find Clyde's Lake. End of Sophomore year Caroline kills her self and Kenny and Eva get in the car crash. Over the summer, Lizzie gets shot, Jacobs gets hit by a car, Alex's and Destiny's house fire. Beginning of Junior year, Tina tries to kill her self. Clyde goes to therapy and gets medication. Token and Kenny start acting weird around Clyde. Then Beginning of senior year is were the story starts. Just thought I'd clear that up. Also this chapter is focused on Eva and Kenny, so yeah.* **_

"And those are the main causes for the American Revolution." The new American history said, clicking off the power point. I laid my head on the cold plastic of the desk. Clyde's desk was empty, his pile of work growing bigger with each passing day. It had been three months and there was nothing I could do to help him.

I looked over at Kenny, he stared a the new teacher in awe. Her short dirty blonde hair looked just like Eva's. I could hear him sigh as she handed out the work.

He looked away as she passed him. Looking up at her I realized why he looked away. Her eyes were green and she didn't have any freckles. I nodded at her as she smiled down at me. Kenny stared down at the desk, tracing the carving with his thin fingers. He had gotten drunk one night and snuck in here. He had spent all night carving Eva's portrait into his desk.

He was in love with her and he couldn't forgive himself for the car crash. I just shook my head and started on the worksheet. I was no better then Kenny. 

_**000**_

**I stared at the small girl sitting in the band room playing on her walkman. She was beautiful with her long dirty blonde hair hiding her face. '****_Come on Kenny. You are the best womanizer in this fucking town just go talk to her.' _****Trying to move my was a lot more difficult than I last remembered. '****_Come on Kenny, you can do this.' _**

**I cleared my throat as I stood on the concrete bleacher in front of her. Beautiful gray eyes stared straight into mine. ****_'Oh god. It's like she can see straight into my soul with those gorgeous hues.' _****"****Are you okay?" ****_'Dear Jesus, please give me the strength to talk to this gorgeous piece of art.' 'Of course my son, I will grant you the strength to talk to this girl. Now stop asking me for favors.' 'Thanks Jesus.' _****"****Y-Yeah I'm fine. I was just wonder-" She smiled up at me, her freckles practically shining like stars. "Wondering what?" She asked with silky voice. I could feel my face heat up was I brought my hand up to rub the back of my neck. Chuckling, I bit my lip and turned back to look at her. **

**"****I was wondering if maybe you would like to go get some coffee maybe?" "Y-Yeah, that sounds, uh, neat." She kept smiling up at me as I wrote my phone number on her hand. "I'll see you later?" "Yeah, I'm Eva by the way." "Kenny, uh call me sometime. So we can, ya know, set up this date." "Will do." Before walking away I looked down at the walkman. "W-What are you listening to?" She smiled down at the walkman. "The middle by Jimmy Eat World."**

_**000**_

**I'd stopped trying to bring her back. ****She'd only came back when she felt like it, in dreams and lies and broken-down déjà vu. Like, I'd be driving to work, and I'd see a girl with short dirty blonde hair standing on the corner and I'd swear, for half a choking moment, that it was her.**

**Then I'd see that the girl's hair was more brown than dirty blonde. And that she was holding a cigarette... And wearing a Rolling Stones T-shirt. Eva hated the Rolling Stones. Eva. Standing behind me until I turned my head. Lying next to me just before I woke up. Making everyone else seem drabber and flatter and never good enough.**

**Eva ruining everything. Eva, gone. I'd stopped trying to bring her back**

_**000**_

"**Kenny you are probably the worlds biggest dork hidden underneath a dude bro cloak." For a moment I just stared at her. She was so magnificent and she could have just told me 10,000,000 things and she told me that. "I don't wanna know who you are around those assholes; Kenny, I wanna know you." **

**Her big gray doe eyes stared up at mine and she shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. Stan, Kyle, and Cartmen stood behind her outside of Kyle's house. Just talking. I looked from them to Eva.**

**"****Kenny! Come back inside and just ditch this girl." "Kenny, it's now or never." Eva whispered to me. Looking down at her, I knew I had already made my choice. "Cartmen! Don't talk about my fucking girlfriend that way you fat fuck!" She smiled up at me as she intertwined her fingers with mine. "You never called me your girlfriend before."**

**Placing my fingers under her chin, I lifted her head to look at me. "There's a start for everything." I said as she closed the gap between us with a sweet kiss. "Kenny! What the fuck dude! I thought we we're friends!" Flipping them off as we continued to kiss. Breaking apart she blushed. "Dork."**

_**000**_

**I want her**

**I want all of her**

**I want this to work out.**

**I wish she would wake up.**

**I want to cuddle with her and kiss her and just talk about everything that we could never talk about with anyone else.**

_**000**_

**_"We are gonna stay together forever Eva I promise."_ ****I smiled at her beautiful pale face. Her cute freckles dusting her slightly chubby cheek****._ "I love you Kenny." _****She whispered up to me. I was surprised I even heard her with how quite she sounded.****_ "I love you too Eva."_ ****I could feel her wrap her arm around my waist, bringing herself closer to me.**

**_"Nothing will keep us apart Eva." _I**** whispered to her as she laid her head down on my shoulder. Her soft dirty blonde locks tickling my cheek.****_ "What if giant robot Barbra Streisand comes back?"_ ****Eva chuckled as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. Her other arm was brought around to wrap around me pulling me into a hug. She pulled herself tighter against me. My hands stuck out behind me, keeping me up as we sat on her dark roof.**

**_"I highly doubt she'll be back." _****I shrugged.****_ "You never know she could suddenly remember not destroying South Park and be like 'Whoa I totally didn't destroy that really tiny small town, I should go back and do that.' it could happen." _****I could feel her gray eyes stare into the side of my face.****_ "Look at me god dammit." _****I turned to look into at her and sighed****_. "Is there something I could help you with, sir?" _****I asked as I did a terrible impersonation of the guard at Token's house.**

**_"Sexy voice, you gonna start using that in bed?" _****I nodded_._****_ "Damn skimpy."_ ****I stared into her gray eyes_._****_ 'Damn he's a pretty girl, why did she chose me of all people to be with?' "I love you, you know that right Eva?" _****She nodded as she kissed my cheek, laying her head back on my shoulder she looked at me.****_ "Can you do any more impersonations?"_**** I nodded thoughtfully****_. "I can do Kyle, Stan, and Cartmens Mom." _****Eva pulled her arms away from me and clapped like a seal.**

**_"Do Kyle do Kyle!" _****I sighed and rolled my eyes at her****_. "No Eva I will not do Kyle, I'm doing you." _****I said with a voice of fake seriousness.****_ "Oh ha ha very funny." _****I smiled widely****_. "Thanks I try my best."_ ****Eva kissed my neck softly as I ran my fingers through her soft hair_._****_ "Do Kyle's voice." _****Clearing my throat, I placed my hand back behind me.****_ "Don't call me a Jew you fucking fat ass!" _****Hearing Eva snicker I looked down at her curled up form.**** _"That was hilarious."_**

**Shrugging I laid down next to her_._****_ "Kyle doesn't seem to appreciate all that much." _****We sat in comfortable silence as we stared at the stars. We didn't talk for the rest of the night, just laid on her roof. Her hand holding onto mine. I felt alive laying here next to her. I felt like the possibilities of my life could go on more light years and light years when I was with her. She made me feel infinite. She sat up beside me. She stared off into the distance as I just looked at her shinny hair. I followed her move, and sat up.**

**_"You make me feel infinite."_ ****I heard her whisper as she turned to look back at me.**

**_000_**

_"__**You can ask me why I need you, but I don't know. I just know that I do … I miss you, Kenny. I want to be with you all the time. You're the dorkiest boy I've ever met, and the funniest, and everything you do makes me smile. And I wish I could say that those are the reasons I like you, because that would make me sound like a really evolved and intellectual human being …**_

_**But I think it's got as much to do with your hair being messy and blonde and your hands being soft and callused from playing your guitar so much… and the fact that you smell like homemade birthday cake."**_

**There were crystal tears falling from her beautiful hues and down her soft pale cheeks. I placed my hands on her face trying to catch her crystals from falling and shattering on the cold tile floor of this stupid high school._ "Moon of my life. Please don't cry such pretty crystals." She sniffled._**

_**"**__**Kenny, I have no idea what you just said. But you did reference Game of Thrones." **_**She smiled at me, no more crystals leaked from her eyes.**

_**000**_

_"__**There's no shame with Kenny. Nothing is dirty. Because Kenny is the sun, and that's the best way I can think to explain it." **_**I listened to Eva talk to Lizzie. I don't remember what Lizzie had asked Eva during lunch, but that didn't matter. My moon thought I was her sun.**

_**000**_

**There were moments - not just today, moments every day since we'd met - when Eva made me self-conscious, when I saw people talking and I was sure they were talking about us. Raucous moments on the bus when I was sure that everyone was laughing at us. And in those moments, I thought about pulling back from her.**

**Not breaking up with her. That phrase didn't even seem to apply here. Just ... easing away. Recovering the six inches between us. I'd roll the thought over in my head until the next time I saw her alone in the cafeteria. Whenever I saw Eva, I couldn't think about pulling away. I couldn't think about anything at all. Except touching her.**

**_000_**

**What if Eva realized that all the things she thought were so mysterious and intriguing about me were actually just … bleak? I worried about how she saw me every hour of everyday. But then my moon would be right there. And all those worries didn't seem to matter anymore. Because she kissed me every time she saw me.**

**_000_**

**For the first time in weeks, I didn't have that anxious feeling in my stomach on the way home from school, like I had to soak up enough Eva to keep me until the next day. My house was loud and stupid and I just wanted to stay with her. But, for the first time I didn't feel so bad.**

**_000_**

_"__**I don't think I even breathe when we're not together," **_**she whispered**_**. "Which means, when I see you on Monday morning, it's been like sixty hours since I've taken a breath. That's probably why I'm so crabby, and why I snap at you. All I do when we're apart is think about you, and all I do when we're together is panic.**_

_**Because every second feels so important. And because I'm so out of control, I can't help myself. I'm not even mine anymore, I'm yours, and what if you decide that you don't want me? How could you want me like I want you?" **_

**I was quiet. I wanted everything she'd just said to be the last thing I ever heard. I wanted to fall asleep with I want you in his ears. I looked down at her from behind my bangs. I want you kept repeating in my mind.**_** "I want you. I want you so much it hurts. I want to do everything I could have never done with anyone else with you. Not just sex, I want to wake up next to you in our apartment. I want to see your bed head in the mornings and I want to see you in your pajamas when I come home from work. I want to make you pancakes on a rainy Saturday morning. **_

_**I want to take you to go see Fall Out Boy so I can see how excited you'll get when Patrick comes on stage or when they play your favorite song. I want to cuddle with you late at night when you can't sleep. I want to make you coffee in the morning before you go to work. I want to adopt so many cats we start naming them the same things. I want to dance to your Beatles records in our living room. I just want you so much and I don't know what to do about it."**_

_**000**_

_"__**Eva? Eva? EVA! EVA! EVA PLEASE WAKE UP!" **_**I screamed shaking her limp body. Massive pieces of glass stuck out of my side.**_** "Eva, please. If you don't wake up how will I go on? You're the only thing that keeps me moving." **_**The blood pouring from my side started to affect me.**_** "Please Eva. I can't die and you know this. But, you're not immortal." **_**The blackness started edging around my vision. I could hear the police sirens getting closer.**_** "Please." **_**I****pleaded with her.**

**Hoping she'd somehow hear me and wake up. The blackness had almost taken over my vision. As they wheeled her away I noticed how big the piece of glass from the windshield was in her back.**_** "Please. No." **_**I whimpered as I crawled from the car**_**. "Oh my gosh! He's still alive!"**_** Everyone was crowding around me, blocking Eva from my dimming line of sight.**_** "Please don't take my moon away from me." **_**I pleaded with the doctors as the placed me in a separate ambulance from Eva. **

**The darkness finally clouded my vision as her ambulance drove away As the driver drove away I could faintly hear The Middle playing on the radio.**

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet  
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.  
Just try your best, try everything you can.  
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, you know they're all the same.  
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.  
Live right now.  
Yeah, just be yourself.  
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).  
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.  
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.  
Just do your best, do everything you can.  
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).  
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.  
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright)"


End file.
